Study Finds Europeans Used Cocaine Earlier Than Once Thought

After analyzing the skulls and brain tissue of nine people buried in a mid-17th-century Italian hospital’s crypt, researchers at the University of Milan found that two had most likely used cocaine, offering the earliest evidence of cocaine use in Europe. What do you think?

“So do you have these corpses’ phone numbers, or what?”

Colette De Leon, Tone Modulator

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“Explains why all those old statues are missing their noses.”

Troy Wainer, Statistics Quantifier

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“I didn’t even know they had $100 bills back then.”

Sean Towe, Systems Analyst